I received a message from a reader today, and it got me thinking. He mentioned how his identity had changed over the years, as he stopped putting on a mask of constant tough strength, and became more authentic in his expression… but people still saw him as who he used to be. Have you ever experienced that? I know I have.
Over the years, growing into the person I am now, I’ve been so many people, so to speak. The journey of self-discovery, we’ll often explore soooo many corners of our personalities, one by one, before seeing how they all balance and fit together.
When some people see me, they see the extremely bouncy and delusionally positive five-year-old (whos’s actually twenty-one) new age sparkle faerie I was when I dropped everything to move to Hawaii as a wwoofer, while others see the free-lovin’, harmony-obsessed (but still pretty oblivious), compassionate and present ethereal wave of deep emotions and sacred-geometrical light I was around 2012-2013.
Some people see the selfish and angsty teenage girl who refused to be helpful without a damn good reason and fought with everything in her to deny anyone pointless authority. Others see the quiet girl who drew swirling abstract swooshes in the corner, and had astronomy, manga, and philosophy books to keep her company, in her pigtails, pink and black frilly arm-warmers, and long poofy-flowy hippy skirts, and the eyeliner of the goth pals at her lunch table.
And, honestly, that’s just a few. Everyone we meet sees the smallest glimpse of us, as we grow and become more whole, balanced, and continue to evolve. Who we were two, four, six, or eight years ago, often has a dramatic contrast to who we are now, in ways that most people won’t notice, because they weren’t in there to see us grow.
No matter what these people see when they look at you, whether they see someone who hurt them, inspired them, or loved them beyond reason, it’s still not all of who you are. You’re a whole story, and you don’t even know how it ends… or even if it ever has to.
The real magic in life is in meeting those who want to read it. Those who hear one part of the story and just have to know the rest. Those people who want their story to join with yours, and become as beautiful and lasting as it can be.
We are so multifaceted, and just as we find people in life who want to hear about our strengths, and our good days, we shouldn’t be afraid to, in the right moments, share tales of our downfalls, the lessons we had to learn the hard way, and how we’ve, both, been damaged and positively transformed because of that experience.
Who do you consider yourself to be? Does your confidence waver in the presence of those who have seen you fail more than succeed? Or do you remind yourself of your own transformation and feel solid in the fact that you are stronger, wiser, and better suited, after what you’ve you’ve overcome?
Do certain people bring out bad habits in you, or do you run with a new crowd, or just simply say no to their influence?
On the other hand, if you’ve been in a rut, who is it that knows the best in you? And would getting back in touch help you to be inspired and vibrant again?
It’s important to stay true to whatever whole and balanced version of you you can manage to be. We really are so many people, and when that balance and wholeness are our focus, it helps to organize everything in our lives to work together in a brand new and satisfying way. And if you need help figuring it all out, you know I’ve got you, Goddess to Goddess.
In wholeness and harmony,
Aquarian Goddess Jen