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When I think about dying…

Hello there, beautiful soul.

I hope you’re doing well. I’m having one of those moments where you remember just how short and precious our time is here. I get a little nervous when I’m not feeling well for a while, since there’s no clear explanation for what’s causing some of my issues, besides stress. But the thought is mainly brought to mind today by a show I’m watching, where a woman, who decided not to get surgery, and to let cancer take her, was writing a bucket list… with such grace, and honesty.

I used to think about the temporary nature of life a lot more in high school than I have recently, but it’s definitely coming to mind more often, and I feel it immensely. It’s like I’m watching my life from its end, looking back on today, and all the years before it.

I decided to write a list from those tears, and I felt it would be more personal and honest than the usual goals that I write out of a need to change the world through acts of survival. What do I really want outside of that? I analyzed it later. Initially, my instincts just poured, through my shaking.

Before Jen Dies

Please help her to

Ride a horse

Spin wool

See an aurora

Fall in love

Stay in love

Give her mom $5,000

Snuggle a kitten

Make her own wedding dress

Give Niki a home

Make a new good friend

Share her heart with the world

Feel beautiful

Be kind and compassionate

Be strong and sovereign

Touch moss

Make love in the forest

Dance with reckless abandon

Grow love in vegetables and flowers

Feel truly at home

If you didn’t have long, and didn’t know how long, what would you truly desire? What would be the things you’d wish for when you thought it might be too late?

Riding a horse surprised me. I guess we want pretty different things when coming from different states of mind. But everything else seemed like they fit perfectly.

A couple that almost made the list were eating chocolate, and listening to the Backstreet Boys with my sister. “Huley Hooping” with my niece belongs on there too. Hearing gramma tell stories from the world long before I was born. Sharing a campfire with good company. If I could choose how I wanted to die, it would be in my sleep (like my dad..) and after a night of nostalgic conversation around a campfire. With my family, or someone just as close.

Cherish these precious opportunities. We haven’t always got the strength, or the focus… but try to fit these special moments into the daily struggle of gathering what’s needed to stay alive. Because otherwise, what’s the point of any of it?

Be well, and be strong. You are sovereign, and worthy beyond measure.

All my love, truly,

Aquarian Goddess Jen

Aquarian Goddess - When I

Who brings out YOU?

Today, let’s talk about influence, identity, and most importantly, you.

Personally, I’m very aware that we are all walking tuning forks and chameleons, soaking up and emitting the gist of our surroundings.

We walk around picking up mannerisms, preferences, habits of thought, and through this natural phenomenon, our individual truths get smushed into different shapes for a while, until we realize it through being shown the striking contrast, usually in a rather dramatic “I don’t even recognize myself anymore!” kind of upheaval.

We’re often drawn to people who remind us of ourselves, or others we’ve felt comfortable with in the past. It’s only natural, since the person feels familiar, and we’ve created a habit of being open to that specific energy in our lives. This is good, as long as we have a healthy filter so that we don’t end up repeating mistakes of opening to someone who has qualities that are damaging.

We also have a tendency to seek out those who have qualities that we’d like to embody ourselves, and while this is healthy when done in a balanced way that keeps your truths and core values intact (while unconditionally loving ourselves along the way), it’s an image of a future self that is always under construction and usually not someone we identify as just yet, so we’ll often tweak ourselves to match the template of how THIS person got closer to where we’d like to be, and can get a bit lost in that.

The third kind of person is the real game-changer. Every now and then, you’ll meet a person who brings out YOU. They are the rare gems who just naturally bring us into a comfortable state of self-expression and feeling good in our own skins.

They may or may not be walking a similar path, they may or may not seem particularly inspiring, but that’s not what makes them so inexplicably enjoyable. You’ll know who they are because they’re not just like you, or like your ideal image of who you want to become. You’re not just picking up on qualities that you share, like you would with a mirror. They’re genuinely THEM and that energy supports you being you.

These are my favorite kinds of people. While you have a lot in common, you get really geeked about how THEM their outfit, or their art, or their way of living is. And they wanna know what makes you you. They appreciate the shit out of your unique expression, and their energy naturally directs you towards INNER expression from your core, rather than ideals and constructs and values of theirs, or society’s.

I’ve lucked out to have a couple friends like that over my lifetime. They’re the ones who you just keep a special place in your life for, who keep a special place for you in theirs.

Pay attention to these people, the ones whose unique energy supports you being what you are. This type of connection is SO life-giving, in that it releases us from the usual pressure we feel to conform to our surroundings, or our ideals, in a sea of expectation and being on guard.

Choose to surround yourself with the people who are amazed by your natural way of being, who encourage you and make you feel proud of who you are.

Give yourself the full permission to be uninhibitedly you. And those who suit you, your projects, and your personality will be able to see you, and be a part of your wonderfully unique life.

Who we naturally are is PERFECTLY suited to our purpose, and as long as we put our genuine hearts and wills out into the world every day, we WILL create the lives we’ve been dreaming of. It’s only a matter of consistent, authentic, soul-inspired action, as we go forward through time.

And if you need a friend or a helping hand along the way, you know I’ve got you, Goddess to Goddess.

All my love,

Aquarian Goddess Jen

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Moonstone Magick

I haven’t talked a lot about my experience with crystals, but our bond runs bone deep. For me, they are partners, with whom I work on specific projects, for the greatest and highest good of All, as well as vibe adjustors (and amplifiers, concentrators, directors.. you know the drill) for my field, my space, or my manifestation and healing grids.

Jewelry, for me, almost always has a designated purpose, and is more of an amulet or talisman in my mind, from the moment we meet. I’ll feel its cocreative purpose with me, and will program it solidly with that intention, and feel how its function radiates out into life.

This year, Moonstone has made her way into so many corners of my experience. I’ve always had a soft spot for her dreamy mystique, and her soothing demeanor, but this year, life has strewn her across my path like glimmering breadcrumbs, lighting my way as I meld with the Goddess within.

It began in the most mundane of ways (doesn’t it always) as I scrolled listlessly through instagram. My eye was caught by a image from Moonstone Magic. I couldn’t look away. Hands dripping with gorgeous gemstones… I was practically drooling over the multitude of luminous adornments, and felt drawn to bring a ring into my life.

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I browsed.. and I felt it out. One of them reached to me, with her full spherical womb, and her sacred crescent, all contained in a delicate form. She was just like me, this silver ring. I saw the way her energy opened me to the Divine, and connected me to my priestess essence, honoring the Goddess and her Moon. This ring would be a symbol, and an amplifier of this connection. And so it was.

When it first arrived, in its soft, silvery pouch, and the light hit it, I was mesmerized by its otherworldly blue light. I could feel that this pairing was destined.

I delicately slipped the ring onto my left index finger, a point of both receptive and directive of energy. A sensation trickled up my arm, like tiny glistening streams of glowing life-force were swimming up and through me. I smiled and felt at peace.

The second moonstone to reach me this year was in a moon-themed Goddess Provisions box. One of my favorite things about crystals is that no two stones of the same type have the same personality. This stone, while flecked with black tourmaline, held a presence of wisdom and gentle strength. This one follows me, in a pouch in my purse, centering me whilst I am out and about, and helping me out with my writing.

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The third was synchronistically gifted to me, just as I completed my journey through the opening ceremony of the Priestess Presence Temple’s Sacred Library. A goddess pendant with a luminous moonstone womb, handcrafted, and originating in Glastonbury, known for its proximity to Avalon. For now, she is gracing my altar, and while I feel drawn to wear her, my sovereignty in alignment with the Goddess is still increasing to the point where it will be time for that. She is the strongest, and most potent symbol and magickal tool connecting me with the Goddess, particularly the Great Mother face of the Goddess, and her natural instinctual behaviors that hold space for, create, and nurture life, all from within the holy vessel that she is. What a miracle, to embody that.

The fourth is more playful. Another gift, given by Moonstone Magic herself, that I might share her story. This is the pendant that awakens my inner faerie, and is dedicated to strengthening my connection to the faerie realms. Delicate and whimsical, filled with reflections that release me into my wise and childlike form of elegance, she smiles me from the inside out, and expresses the personality of my soul in a way that makes it easy for others to see.

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The moral of the story is that moonstone is magic, and no two are alike, despite appearances. Any stone, or piece of jewelry can become an amulet of sacred power, and there is infinite potential to what we can do. Feel free to message me your stories. Which stones call to you, and how do you experience their energy?

And, as always, I walk alongside you, Goddess to Goddess.

From the infinite depths of Spirit’s presence,

Aquarian Goddess Jen

The Priestess Presence Temple and the Sacred Library

A week ago, I participated in something truly magickal.

Imagine, if you will, a temple of white polished columns, and a ceiling so high that the stars of the night sky shine in through it.

Looking around, you see a circle of a hundred priestesses, in glowing robes that bear their souls’ coloring, while simultaneously seeing the translucent overlay of the individual sacred spaces in their homes, from which they are visiting and cocreating this place, candles aglow, incense wafting from some of them.

You notice they are gathered with hands outstretched, around a central crystalline core, and as symbols, sacred beyond speaking, and beams of glowing color flow through them, they are illuminating the crystal as they touch it, transmitting all the knowledge and light codes they carry, to be shared with those who will treasure it and use it for good.

This is merely a glimpse of the opening ceremony of the Sacred Library. Truly, there was more than one moment where I cried at the sheer beauty and resonances of the experience.

The Priestess Presence Temple is a place like no other. While we meet for live events, reaching this place in from our own sacred spaces, in group meditation-cocreation, it is also embodied through a platform through which we have access to the information and practices and training that is shared.

I am truly honored to share this experience and and this truly divine temple with all of you. To share in the experience, you can visit here.

If you so choose, you will receive email invitations to wondrous shared experiences and magickal opportunities to enhance the way you walk your sacred path.

There is more to what you are here for than what you have seen.

This is a path of ever-unfurling and deepening.

And as always, I am here with you, Goddess to Goddess.

Aquarian Goddess Jen

An alternative perspective on: Why you aren’t where you’d like to be

1. There’s a bigger picture.

What you’re wanting might be one small piece of a puzzle that will change your whole life years from now. Diving deeply into creating, or teaching, or immersing yourself in one path might prevent you from a whole variety of world views or experiences that transform you in ways that you can hardly begin to imagine yourself to be. Everything is temporary. Just like the 80s, and the lifespan of your favorite cat, things will always complete a cycle and become something new with the passing of time.

Your current experience of spirituality will evolve as new ideas reach you. Your entire outlook is likely only a distant cousin of the one you had ten years ago. Your current approach might not fit your future nature.

There is so much that I look back on and think, “wow, if I’d only known who I’d be a year from then, I’d know why that didn’t work out.” We are always on the verge of a breakthrough or transformation, and when we’re heading a certain direction, we never know what The Universe is going to surprise us with that changes us from the ground up.

Considering that what you’re desperately attached to, the path you’re taking towards the goal that you neeeed to work out with a exasperation and pain… miiiiight not be the best option, will open up access to the ideas and possibilities that would fit who you’re becoming like a glove.

2. Impatience, escapism, and perfectionism…

They hold us back more than we know. We want to be the brightest and purest lights, the most dedicated, the most free, the most accomplished in our ideal sacred profession. We want to notice only the things that we feel good about. And it causes us to overlook a lot.

Where we are now is not an accident. What does this place have to teach us, that will help us to create a stable future that has room for all the flexibility we need as individuals, while embracing the reality of our position unconditionally? What do we participate in on a daily basis that helps us to move forward in a way that supports us as a whole?

3. Influence and Intimidation

We are surrounded by people with opinions.

This spiritual teacher says this, my friends think that, my heart wants this, my rational mind thinks I’m a cuckoo bird. What do I do?

You look at two things:

  1. What’s healthiest and most fulfilling for you long term, and…
  2. What is the most steady path to get you there without sacrificing your values.

Everyone thinks that they know what’s best for those around them, but these are merely birdsong around a tree. Feel into your depth of your roots for answers, and feel how beautiful sweet blossoms can ripen fruits at the height of your being as you focus on nourishing yourself from your center.

We are so much more than who we are in this moment. And when we embrace that the version of ourselves we see in the mirror on this day, is evolving in accordance with our sacred inner truth… we find the strength to lead ourselves in new directions. With a sense of wholeness, regal prowess, and integrity.

Be well, my fellow life-shapers.

And as always, I am here with you, Goddess to Goddess.

All my love,

Aquarian Goddess Jen

Just Flow

Give yourself the freedom to flow.  Writing, drawing, dancing, singing, roaming, pondering, exploring, creating, just go!

We need to have a little time to get carried into something wonderful.
Give it to yourself.
Life is here to express itself to AND through you, because life is what you are, and everything that moves you.

Maybe you’ll climb a mountain,  or follow a stream of thought with a friend, farther than you’ve felt it flow before.
Maybe you’ll be moved by a movie, to start a new adventure, birth a goal.

Every end leads you up to a door, even when it looks like a wall, just waiting to be walked through, talked through, with truths you’ve tucked in safely at your core.

So move, go right through it, dancing in sacred and primal circles with the laughter of a healthy fire alight with the delight of gentle rains, whose comfy blankets rest until the witching hour, only to dissipate as soft smiling sighs, twinkling with a far-off milky magick, that we spiral through as again, our cycles go.

Just flow.

Goddess Provisions Unboxing

Today, I want to talk about treating ourselves, because truly, we do deserve it.  Our feminine nature includes a tendency to nurture those around until we’re falling apart, buying gifts and dedicating our time and focus to those who we wish to see smile… and meanwhile, neglecting to surprise and delight the remarkable Goddess (YOU!!) who’s making it all happen, day in and day out.

I saw a thingy on instagram that made me sparkle and “oooooooo…!!”  it happened just as that lesson had reached me, and I knew that the moment had come.

You may be familiar with the concept of the subscription box.  You pay a monthly fee, and receive a box of surprise gifts, usually once a month, and they all fit a certain theme.  Well, I’ve found a box for us Goddesses!  And you bet your booty I bought it. (Don’t bet your booty, though.  You need to have something to shake.)

I ordered this box three months ago, after realizing that it seemed like everything in it was picked out just for me, and it has yet to disappoint!  So, yah know, I’m gonna show you what I got!

Mind you, my videos are raw, and real, and basically like hanging out with me after work, so, when I show you this unboxing, you’ll see a real human, not a glamorous filtered thing pretending it isn’t one.  The reactions are genuine, and the stuff is really great!

So, behold!  The Goddess Provisions Unboxing!

 

And if you’d like to check them out, you can do so at http://GoddessProvisions.com

You deserve to give to yourself.  And with subscription boxes, you receive a special gift once a month without having to go out of your way.  It’s just there at your doorstep, so you can’t put yourself last anymore!  Do something wonderful today.  No one in your life deserves your energy and appreciation more than you do, so give back a little to the Goddess who gives and gives.

All my love, as always!

Aquarian Goddess Jen

Seeing the Divine Through Everything 

When you see the divinity in everything, it sees you, and begins to interact with you on that level.   Nothing is truly mundane, in this miraculous creation.  The person behind you blowing their nose on the bus is an embodiment of pure presence.  When you see it, it amplifies.
The greatest use of the law of attraction is to notice that Consciousness, Truth, God, is beneath the layers of everyday thoughts and behaviors, observing it all.  Universal Intelligence is activated wherever you notice it.
Play with this.  Look at each person, plant and animal at their core today, and moving forward.  And see what emerges from within, and how much more easily Divine Intelligence flows to and through you as you practice this most beautiful thing.
Miracles occur when we look at the Truth underlying what our eyes have once show us.  Jesus could see the potential for health in others so strongly that it healed them.  At our core, we are Divine Universal Intelligence.  We are the collective creative force that manifests the essence of connective eternity through our noticing that it is there, as we allow ourselves to let it flow through us, and adjust our identities to that flow.

Life is always flowing us towards greater harmony, fulfillment, and awe, and through relaxing into that, flow, we are released from the struggles that once harmed us.  (Think of the scene with the Devil’s Snare in Harry Potter.  It must be passed through on the journey, and the only way to get through it safely is to let go and relax into knowing that it is moving you to where you need to be, or blast it with magical light that dissolves it away and frees you.)

Trust in life, and see that there is more for you.  There is an infinite peace and presence that guides our lives,  and it is the deepest truth of our collective and individual identities.  It is the force that moves the cycles of nature, that sparks joy in our hearts.   It is in all of us.  It is consciousness it is Life.

Nurture Your Purpose

Today’s thoughts are about fulfillment.  The deep kind.  The “I’ve made a positive change in the lives of many, using the skills that resonate with my soul, and am deeply appreciated for it,” type of fulfillment we all yearn for.

Today, I watched a livestream on Facebook of my Reiki master  (and yoga and belly dance teacher) cutting the ribbon and being welcomed by officials of the city to the brand new location for their wellness center.  My life changed the moment I first encountered them.  Naturally, seeing this had brought tears to my eyes.

This beautiful moment was not long after another one, where I was watching Katya Turner at indigodiaries.com and feeling the usual joyous rush that her videos give me towards sharing my own gifts in flow, and that, too, occured just a bit before seeing a bright and shiny post on Facebook by Leija Turunen, who was a massive inspiration for me in past years.

Seeing these women who affect so many people through their sharing of helpful perspectives (clearly including me) and sharing what their journeys have brought them… it lights me up inside, and it also gives me that contrast… feeling how strongly I want to have that impact on a larger scale, and realizing I am equally capable.  Something each of us should take note of right now.  We are capable.  And there is one small thing that creates the foundation.

Consistent focus is the key.

It’s all about consistent focus, and small actions.  We get these big goals that can seem so far away, but when we break it down, we see it’s just a series of small, simple steps that are actually easy.

In general, for a plant to grow, it needs to have moist soil and sunshine pretty regularly.  Multiple times a week.  My project, for example, is similarly simple.  I need to put helpful and inspiring info into some form, and then put it in places where the right people can see it.  It’s part of a much bigger dream, which involves eventual permaculture and eco building workshops and retreats, complete with Reiki certification and delving into one’s own evolution in a magical and nurturing cosmic-love tribe… but these are the first steps to building foundations, and so that’s all I need to focus on in order to make progress.  But, reaching further into the light and deepening your roots is a constant process, so, sometimes we need to add some extra nutrients to the soil, and get creative.

Currently, working full time and healing myself allows for me to write about once a week without it becoming a drain on me.

But if I am to truly reach more of the right people, I must strive for more in a way that will suit me.  So, I hire my best friend to help with marketing, and I start making plans to do videos, to add to my blog, and to youtube, as it is the platform that most inspires me.  This extends my reach without draining me, and allows me to help someone I care about to make a little extra money.  Aaaaand it increases my enthusiasm for the project, and makes me suddenly part of a team.  It’s all winning aaaaall around.

So, here is the real question?  What is your fulfillment capable of becoming?  How do you see yourself nurturing a project on a weekly basis to improve the lives of others?  What is making your soul sing, out of all the things that you’ve pondered?

I know there is something in there, and you’re going to make it shine.  You’re going to water your little garden, place it in the light of your focus, and be more than amazed at what grows.  And if you need a friend along the way, I’ve always got you, Goddess to Goddess. 

All my love,

Aquarian Goddess Jen

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Magick, Identity, and… Old Norse Philosophy?

How do you view yourself?  We all have certain layers or facets of ourselves that we give stronger focus to, but do you ever break it down and look at the many branches that make up… you?

Personally, I’ve always had extremely vibrant aspects of myself take over the show for a while when they’re having a good time, or need nourishment, and often, I feel like I’m twelve people on a vacation trying to coordinate priorities without missing the view, or getting lost, with the practical and the magical constantly swirling around, in my library of possibilities that make up how I view this world.

That’s why, when I read this page about the older Norse way of viewing yourself, and the parts that came together to make up one being, I was bug-eyed and basically glued ’til completion occured.

For once, there was a perspective that held a massive resonance to my own, in a multitude of mystical and mundane ways.


We live in an era where most dismiss magic, even though nearly every person you meet can tell you a story of something they just can’t explain, where most people refuse to acknowledge the miraculous, unless it was provided by the only deity they trust enough to deem “real.”

Yet, in the days of our ancient ancestors, people saw more to life.  Words held power.  Being filled with the energy of life and all of its cycles was an aspect of who you were, and was directly tied to your success and how life would unfold for you.

The physical body was a malleable vessel whose form could restructure when strong, and spirit companions, familiars and the like, were natural, and a part of who you were.

THIS feels more “true” than what I grew up with, in a world where magick is resting by your side, waiting quietly, invisible, alive.

So tell me, what is your magick, in your identity, the mystical about you, that you hide?  And will you allow it, as the quiet, subtle nature of the magick, here, itself… to be real again?

To learn that these perspectives were a part of my distant heritage, it made me feel that much more… among my own.  And that, in turn, inspired me to share this with you.

We ARE magick.  Every fibre of your being is magick, and it is only through noticing this that we make it a home here… that we nestle its glimmer into all that we are, all we do.

YOU are a Goddess.
Experience my Aquarian Magick & develop your unique gifts with me, through Goddess to Goddess Guidance.

This day, you are given a choice.  To awaken what’s stirring within you, or let it slumber.  Let this be the day that your magick arose and took shape.

You are infinite, you are powerful, you are life.

Sincerely,

Aquarian Goddess Jen