When I think about dying…

Hello there, beautiful soul.

I hope you’re doing well. I’m having one of those moments where you remember just how short and precious our time is here. I get a little nervous when I’m not feeling well for a while, since there’s no clear explanation for what’s causing some of my issues, besides stress. But the thought is mainly brought to mind today by a show I’m watching, where a woman, who decided not to get surgery, and to let cancer take her, was writing a bucket list… with such grace, and honesty.

I used to think about the temporary nature of life a lot more in high school than I have recently, but it’s definitely coming to mind more often, and I feel it immensely. It’s like I’m watching my life from its end, looking back on today, and all the years before it.

I decided to write a list from those tears, and I felt it would be more personal and honest than the usual goals that I write out of a need to change the world through acts of survival. What do I really want outside of that? I analyzed it later. Initially, my instincts just poured, through my shaking.

Before Jen Dies

Please help her to

Ride a horse

Spin wool

See an aurora

Fall in love

Stay in love

Give her mom $5,000

Snuggle a kitten

Make her own wedding dress

Give Niki a home

Make a new good friend

Share her heart with the world

Feel beautiful

Be kind and compassionate

Be strong and sovereign

Touch moss

Make love in the forest

Dance with reckless abandon

Grow love in vegetables and flowers

Feel truly at home

If you didn’t have long, and didn’t know how long, what would you truly desire? What would be the things you’d wish for when you thought it might be too late?

Riding a horse surprised me. I guess we want pretty different things when coming from different states of mind. But everything else seemed like they fit perfectly.

A couple that almost made the list were eating chocolate, and listening to the Backstreet Boys with my sister. “Huley Hooping” with my niece belongs on there too. Hearing gramma tell stories from the world long before I was born. Sharing a campfire with good company. If I could choose how I wanted to die, it would be in my sleep (like my dad..) and after a night of nostalgic conversation around a campfire. With my family, or someone just as close.

Cherish these precious opportunities. We haven’t always got the strength, or the focus… but try to fit these special moments into the daily struggle of gathering what’s needed to stay alive. Because otherwise, what’s the point of any of it?

Be well, and be strong. You are sovereign, and worthy beyond measure.

All my love, truly,

Aquarian Goddess Jen

Aquarian Goddess - When I

Who brings out YOU?

Today, let’s talk about influence, identity, and most importantly, you.

Personally, I’m very aware that we are all walking tuning forks and chameleons, soaking up and emitting the gist of our surroundings.

We walk around picking up mannerisms, preferences, habits of thought, and through this natural phenomenon, our individual truths get smushed into different shapes for a while, until we realize it through being shown the striking contrast, usually in a rather dramatic “I don’t even recognize myself anymore!” kind of upheaval.

We’re often drawn to people who remind us of ourselves, or others we’ve felt comfortable with in the past. It’s only natural, since the person feels familiar, and we’ve created a habit of being open to that specific energy in our lives. This is good, as long as we have a healthy filter so that we don’t end up repeating mistakes of opening to someone who has qualities that are damaging.

We also have a tendency to seek out those who have qualities that we’d like to embody ourselves, and while this is healthy when done in a balanced way that keeps your truths and core values intact (while unconditionally loving ourselves along the way), it’s an image of a future self that is always under construction and usually not someone we identify as just yet, so we’ll often tweak ourselves to match the template of how THIS person got closer to where we’d like to be, and can get a bit lost in that.

The third kind of person is the real game-changer. Every now and then, you’ll meet a person who brings out YOU. They are the rare gems who just naturally bring us into a comfortable state of self-expression and feeling good in our own skins.

They may or may not be walking a similar path, they may or may not seem particularly inspiring, but that’s not what makes them so inexplicably enjoyable. You’ll know who they are because they’re not just like you, or like your ideal image of who you want to become. You’re not just picking up on qualities that you share, like you would with a mirror. They’re genuinely THEM and that energy supports you being you.

These are my favorite kinds of people. While you have a lot in common, you get really geeked about how THEM their outfit, or their art, or their way of living is. And they wanna know what makes you you. They appreciate the shit out of your unique expression, and their energy naturally directs you towards INNER expression from your core, rather than ideals and constructs and values of theirs, or society’s.

I’ve lucked out to have a couple friends like that over my lifetime. They’re the ones who you just keep a special place in your life for, who keep a special place for you in theirs.

Pay attention to these people, the ones whose unique energy supports you being what you are. This type of connection is SO life-giving, in that it releases us from the usual pressure we feel to conform to our surroundings, or our ideals, in a sea of expectation and being on guard.

Choose to surround yourself with the people who are amazed by your natural way of being, who encourage you and make you feel proud of who you are.

Give yourself the full permission to be uninhibitedly you. And those who suit you, your projects, and your personality will be able to see you, and be a part of your wonderfully unique life.

Who we naturally are is PERFECTLY suited to our purpose, and as long as we put our genuine hearts and wills out into the world every day, we WILL create the lives we’ve been dreaming of. It’s only a matter of consistent, authentic, soul-inspired action, as we go forward through time.

And if you need a friend or a helping hand along the way, you know I’ve got you, Goddess to Goddess.

All my love,

Aquarian Goddess Jen

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Moonstone Magick

I haven’t talked a lot about my experience with crystals, but our bond runs bone deep. For me, they are partners, with whom I work on specific projects, for the greatest and highest good of All, as well as vibe adjustors (and amplifiers, concentrators, directors.. you know the drill) for my field, my space, or my manifestation and healing grids.

Jewelry, for me, almost always has a designated purpose, and is more of an amulet or talisman in my mind, from the moment we meet. I’ll feel its cocreative purpose with me, and will program it solidly with that intention, and feel how its function radiates out into life.

This year, Moonstone has made her way into so many corners of my experience. I’ve always had a soft spot for her dreamy mystique, and her soothing demeanor, but this year, life has strewn her across my path like glimmering breadcrumbs, lighting my way as I meld with the Goddess within.

It began in the most mundane of ways (doesn’t it always) as I scrolled listlessly through instagram. My eye was caught by a image from Moonstone Magic. I couldn’t look away. Hands dripping with gorgeous gemstones… I was practically drooling over the multitude of luminous adornments, and felt drawn to bring a ring into my life.

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I browsed.. and I felt it out. One of them reached to me, with her full spherical womb, and her sacred crescent, all contained in a delicate form. She was just like me, this silver ring. I saw the way her energy opened me to the Divine, and connected me to my priestess essence, honoring the Goddess and her Moon. This ring would be a symbol, and an amplifier of this connection. And so it was.

When it first arrived, in its soft, silvery pouch, and the light hit it, I was mesmerized by its otherworldly blue light. I could feel that this pairing was destined.

I delicately slipped the ring onto my left index finger, a point of both receptive and directive of energy. A sensation trickled up my arm, like tiny glistening streams of glowing life-force were swimming up and through me. I smiled and felt at peace.

The second moonstone to reach me this year was in a moon-themed Goddess Provisions box. One of my favorite things about crystals is that no two stones of the same type have the same personality. This stone, while flecked with black tourmaline, held a presence of wisdom and gentle strength. This one follows me, in a pouch in my purse, centering me whilst I am out and about, and helping me out with my writing.

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The third was synchronistically gifted to me, just as I completed my journey through the opening ceremony of the Priestess Presence Temple’s Sacred Library. A goddess pendant with a luminous moonstone womb, handcrafted, and originating in Glastonbury, known for its proximity to Avalon. For now, she is gracing my altar, and while I feel drawn to wear her, my sovereignty in alignment with the Goddess is still increasing to the point where it will be time for that. She is the strongest, and most potent symbol and magickal tool connecting me with the Goddess, particularly the Great Mother face of the Goddess, and her natural instinctual behaviors that hold space for, create, and nurture life, all from within the holy vessel that she is. What a miracle, to embody that.

The fourth is more playful. Another gift, given by Moonstone Magic herself, that I might share her story. This is the pendant that awakens my inner faerie, and is dedicated to strengthening my connection to the faerie realms. Delicate and whimsical, filled with reflections that release me into my wise and childlike form of elegance, she smiles me from the inside out, and expresses the personality of my soul in a way that makes it easy for others to see.

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The moral of the story is that moonstone is magic, and no two are alike, despite appearances. Any stone, or piece of jewelry can become an amulet of sacred power, and there is infinite potential to what we can do. Feel free to message me your stories. Which stones call to you, and how do you experience their energy?

And, as always, I walk alongside you, Goddess to Goddess.

From the infinite depths of Spirit’s presence,

Aquarian Goddess Jen