Are you Committed to your Soul or to your Struggle?

This is a powerful question to ask yourself.

Not just once, but as you go about the day.

As you’re making your choices, what is your main motivator?

Is it your belief that God, Spirit, The Universe, Your Higher Self… is guiding you and has your back?

Or is it the false idea, the limiting belief, that yesterday’s struggles are somehow glued to you through tomorrow?

Your committment is the glue that sticks a situation to you. Release from the committment and you’re free. Commit to a new goal, or a new path, and it’s yours. Simple as that. Simple doesn’t mean easy, it just means simple. You’ve got to hold something you’ve glued together for a while to make sure that it sticks. Glue takes a while to dry.

 

 

 

I’ve spent plenty of time committed to the struggle too, so I definitely feel ya. Two years ago, I was deep in it. I’d come home from an office job that was just to pay the bills, that stressed me out to the point where I was getting sick all the time and felt so drained I had no interest in anything.

It was one of those jobs where the boss is a good guy, but yelled and swore at everyone. As an empath and a highly sensitive person, I just could not take it. It was the kind of job that makes a person like me cry in the bathroom.

When I’d get home, I’d put the quickest food possible into a pot or in the oven, and zone out to Netflix with the only free time I had (which felt like none even though it was hours). My health was SO far out of whack from stress affecting my hormones (which control SO many things in the body) that most of my money went towards seeing a naturopath to fix it.  I knew my everyday life was making me really unhappy, but I was very good at distracting myself from it, as a way to cope with that fact that I didn’t think I could change it any time soon.

monochrome photo of woman sitting on floor
Sometimes you can’t see how far you’ve strayed from your path until you put down your favorite form of distraction.

I was so focused on improving my health with the little energy I had, but here’s the thing. My lifestyle was throwing me back out of whack every time I’d get back in it. I was so committed to this job that was slowly killing me, and to the coping mechanisms (escaping through entertainment) that I used to try and unwind, and felt so unstable that I was afraid, SO afraid to risk losing that sense of foundation. Even though it was crumbling under me, and taking me down with it.

My lifestyle, and my committment to my struggle, were what needed fixing.

Does any of this sound familiar? Because the more people I talk to, the more people I see scared to take leaps of faith (big or small) to start to root their foundation in their soul, with the support of the universe, instead of being committed to the struggle of going against what’s actually healthy for them.

Leaps of faith don’t have to be massive. They can be as simple as looking at what’s out of alignment with your inner truth, and changing one small thing at a time to get closer to it.

There is a divine blueprint, a path laid out by your soul before you come here, and you can find it by feeling into what lights you up, vs. what shuts you down. Our lives are a combination of fate and free will. This path is always laid out for us, but it’s up to us to align with it, and choose to walk it.

adventure beautiful boardwalk bridge
There is a unique path just for you, divinely designed for your truest fulfillment.

For my journey, it took me some time to make the changes, but I took things one step at a time. I got a job that seemed more chill at first, doing office work from home. It gave me the opportunity to invest in coaching for the first time, and start REALLY building the spiritual coaching & energy work business I’d been dabbling with for three years. Investing in myself and in my soul’s purpose was the most powerful that I’d ever done. Having someone there to encourage and guide me back to my own center, keep me focused on my goals so I woudn’t give up or completely change paths (like I’d done over and over again before that).

I was finally starting to GROUND what my life had been teaching me and preparing me for for all these years. And YES, it was still a struggle. My job at that time started getting more and more stressful. I stopped and started a handful of times to rest and recenter, but never truly gave up. And over the course of only a year, I had gained so much confidence, had learned to trust myself to be able to make a living in a way that didn’t murder me in the face all week, but actually aligned me deeper with my core so that I could help others in the way that I knew I was meant to.

It started getting exciting to be alive again, because I had calls lined up with wonderful people who I was helping to line up with their path in the same way that I had been lining up with mine. These were people who were thanking me for our coaching sessions giving them the clarity and courage to do things like going on adventures to Alaska to find themselves after years in the corporate world, or realizing completely new ways that they could put their love of transformational festivals, retreats, shamanic plant medicines, and sound healing together into event ideas that were completely unique to their path and gifts to share with the world.

brown ganesha figurine
Ganesh: Remover of Obstacles

I started to become so lit up, and inspired. And even though I was still working that office job that was getting crazy stressful as they kept adding more to my plate and speeding up the pace, and making me sick again, I was on fire. I started doing more and more in my free time because I was determined to transition out of it. I was ready for a new environment and to be in my own element again.

I started doing reiki and readings on a psychic hotline type of website. I started collaborating with websites that were reaching out to me as I kept sharing my message. I had some money saved up and decided when I got really sick one week, that I couldn’t keep doing that to myself, I had to let go of that job. That was a major turning point for me. I had become so committed to my purpose that it was starting to replace the crumbling foundation that I was refusing to let take me down this time.

I kept taking step after step… writing, coaching, reiki & intuitive energy work, readings. Helping people. Empowering people. Inspiring people to be who they’re meant to be more strongly. Feeling into what I truly needed right then. And trusting. Letting go of the fears one by one, and trusting.

And then, as you’ll find happens when you commit to aligning with your soul’s true path… everything started falling into place.

I moved to Asheville this past week. Through focusing on alignment and taking action with INTENSE determination, it only took me a week to sort out the details, pack, travel, and feel at home. Never before in my life could I have set everything up and moved in a week. It was one of those situations where you look back and realize that we’re all capable of so much more than we realize when we step into alignment with our souls, our spirit, our inner being, and allow it to flow no matter what challenges come up.

I connected with the perfect roomies to live with who became instant friends. The perfect spa to be a part of. And got started on a new program with my own coach to really make the most of this powerful transition and first steps into this next incredible phase of my life.

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So, I have to ask you… what is your committment to?

Your struggle or your soul?

Are you trusting and aligning, or suffering because you’re too afraid to let go of what’s dragging you down?

What in your lifestyle needs to be nudged back into alignment that’s been throwing you out of whack? What committments need to be broken altogether? And what new ones can we start to put into place?
I’m ALWAYS here to support you and guide you, into your own truth, so that you can show up, and ground your purpose, and make the impact that you’re here to make in the world.

Message me here for a free consult. I’d love to help you gain clarity and the courage to make a change.

yoursouliscalling

North & South Nodes – The Power of You – Live Video 30 Day Challenge

The Power of You.

The strongest force in the Universe lives inside of you.

Stand strong and let it come out today.

If you didn’t catch the live-stream on Instagram announcing the Power of You live video series, to help you break free into your best life possible, from the inside out, you can still find it here in my blog.

I committed to this 30 Day Challenge doing one live video on Instagram daily, to help bring myself out of my comfort zone and into greater communication with you! 

I have so much to share with you about the tools and practices and perspectives that help to bring out the power that rests deep within each of us, so that you can live and thrive in accordance with the core of who you are, embodied to the fullest.

In this first short episode, I share the story of how the idea for this series was sparked by a magnificent coaching call with Klara Hodulakova where we dug down deep to the bottom of what had been holding me back from expressing myself fully and really letting myself shine true in my business in the way that I desperately wanted to show up.

 

 

One of the things that I realized was that my perfectionist tendencies were stopping me in my tracks left and right (sound familiar?) and every time I’d think about putting myself out there in a new way, I’d come up with twelve reasons why I didn’t know just the right strategy (only to answer her questions about how much I love to share messages through video, and love YouTube and Instagram as platforms), didn’t have the perfect lighting and equipment (when mine is perfectly suited for live video and can improve over time), and was concerned I’d run out of ideas for the the steady stream of information I’d need to share to be consistent enough (when I could literally ramble about mystical and grounded self-improvement all day every day to whoever’s listening, because let’s face it, that’s the only thing my brain is focusing on besides being in greater harmony with nature, and the occasional Disney song.)

After this realization, that my perfectionism was holding me back in such a massive way from expressing myself to the fullest to the world, when I already know that doing just that is my whole purpose and message and goal, I realized the relevance it had to my astrology, particularly my north and south nodes.

In our natal charts, our north and south nodes tell us the direction we’re meant to move toward, in our approach to life, and the opposite of it that we are starting from.  For example, my north node is in Pisces, which means that in this life, I am meant to move more towards my spiritual, trusting, intuitive nature, and to let go of my tendency to get caught up in too much of the life approach of my south node, which is in Virgo, and shows up as a tendency to deeply analyze, strategize, and have every single detail in perfect order.  To be coming away from my south node means that I’ve had an overabundance of attention to detail, and need to lighten up about the details not always being smudge-proof and lined up in nice little rows.  To trust that who I am and what I offer is good enough because of what it is, and that its appearance is not here for me to be judging.  That it is a gift from the divine, no matter what it is shaped like, and that it should be treated as such and be free to flow in its raw and natural glory.

Sometimes we need to be reminded by a mirror of how we’re not walking our talk in an area we were trying to hide from ourselves. 

No matter how many years of self-improvement we’ve had, we will always be growing and challenging ourselves in new ways, and we will always have revelations about things we didn’t realize we were doing, because we disguised it as not being ready, by limiting beliefs.  And so here I am, full force, ready to share with you SO much from the core of my being, to help you break free in more and more ways, on this exhilarating 30 day journey into The Power of You.

Be sure to follow me @_aquarian.goddess_ so you can tune in on Instagram at 5pm EST today for the next Power of You live video! I’ll give you a hint as to the next topic.  It’s something we were masters of in our childhood, but never realized would be a practical and magical force that can transform our lives today.  Any guesses? 😊🌸🍃

Expectations, Joy, and Creating Balance

I was inspired by an instagram thought-stream by Brittany Greer, where she talks about expectations.

It rang especially true for me, as expectations have been one of the most difficult and important things to be aware of in my life so far, and are truly the foundation of so much of our inner turmoil.

They’re a main focus for me, because of my sensitivity to them when they’ve been placed on me. When you think about it, any moment of displeasure, whether it’s not liking someone’s demeanor, or the choices they make, or your boss being annoyed that you’re not performing well at your job, or you just not liking your job, it’s all based on the experience being in contrast to our expectation that life is supposed to be comfortable and enjoyable.

It sounds strange when you think about it like that, but it makes sense when you break it down.

“I’m annoyed because I don’t like my job.”
-Really Means-
“I expect that jobs should be more fulfilling and enjoyable.”

In a given moment, the thing which we’re observing does not live up to our expectations. That’s the reason why we feel upset. This natural reaction shows us that on a subtle level, deep in our core, we actually expect every single thing in life to be extremely likeable. We know that something better is possible, and we’re kind of bothered that it’s not happening right now. On one hand, it’s incredible to be so in tune with our preferences, but on the other hand, well, following our preferences could easily get way out of hand, and become a toned down version of when my nieces are feeling a little too entitled.

I’ve been spending a lot of time around my nieces lately, and my sister was talking with me yesterday, asking my thoughts on why they seem to have so much trouble focusing and why they’ve been having more of an attitude lately when they aren’t getting their way.

My perspective was simple, and inspired by a conversation on how our behavior is so rooted in the way that, as children, we’re raised. Our society starts us off as small children thinking that the foundation of our everday lives, and our main goal, is simply entertainment. Seeking joy. And don’t get me wrong, seeking joy is one of the most important things that we can practice in our lives, as it will, when balanced properly, guide us to our purpose, and help us to make the right choices that will guide us to where we truly belong. But when they’re unbalanced, we become closed off, angry, depressed, or just plain spoiled rotten. So how do we prevent that? And where did it all start?

I’ll go back to the example of society and children. In our great-grandmothers’ generation, and through all of our recorded history before that, the majority of children grew up in a vastly different environment on too many levels to count. They weren’t bombarded with bright, shiny objects and loud, glowing screens full of imaginary people and stories for hours on end.

They sat in quiet homes, and in nature, with their family. The only things they had to observe around them were the daily actions that helped their family to live a stable life. They watched gardens grow. They watched homes be built with the help of the community. They sat with their mothers and fathers while they cared for animals, did the sewing, prepared the meals with plants that they understood. Their lives were slower and had an obvious purpose, were connected to the natural cycles, and their games with other children were understood to be a very small part of what they were here to be and do.

Their ability to self-discipline and follow the requests of their family were understood as being a top priority, and there was not as strong of a sense, as they developed, that their own entertainment could take over, without the household falling apart. Obviously, children are still children, and it takes time and practice and persistence to form solid healthy habits in life, but with so few distractions, and a sense of being a part of something, their relationship with the expectations placed on them was more solid, more natural, and more real.

For those of us in my generation who grew up without that upbringing, it was a little more like a swirling chaos of Nickelodeon, gameboys, and, oh, we had to go to school because they tell us to. Not a lot of parents (at least based on the conversations I’ve had with many of my peers) even strongly emphasized that being a child is training you for adulthood, in a practical way that really prepared us for things, and just kind of said that someday we’d go to college and get a job, and left the rest up to the schooling systems.

So, a lot of us floundered. A lot of us didn’t even have meals together, or do anything together as a family on a daily or weekly basis. In my home, tv was the only activity, and our dinner was eating while staring into it, without anyone learning anything about each other’s lives, or talking about what was going on in the lives of the adults. There wasn’t a natural observation of adult life that would allow me to prepare myself mentally for what it would be like to learn to balance everything, and have self discipline, feel like an important part of something, or truly learn to relate to others in a kind and healthy way. This was simply because we didn’t talk, we didn’t work together in any way, and everyone was too busy distracting themselves with the brain-candy of the moment, inbetween obligations we didn’t see a reason for (besides “I’ll get in trouble if I don’t”) and pretty much ignoring everything else.

For those of us with this kind of upbringing, it can be very difficult to look at the world we’ve just graduated into and not feel confused, irritated, lost, and overwhelmed with how many things we feel no sense of passion or purpose about, and no obvious way to figure out how to fix it. So, too many of us end up starting off by just finding a job that pays okay, and binge Netflix on the weekends because, what else is there when you don’t really wanna get up?

Then we feel cranky about our job (because we settled for it, but somehow still expect it to be perfect, instead of looking for a creative way to make a living) and we grumble that there’s nothing on Netflix (because we’ve already spent too much time on there and expect it to entertain us forever, instead of thinking about something cool we could learn, or share with the world, and trying it) and we get mad at the people around us (because we expect them to be somebody they’re not, and satisfy our need for love, understanding, fun, and intellectual stimulation, instead of giving more of those things to ourselves, and those people, for being exactly who we each are).

We expect that life should be entertaining. We expect that things should be easy. We expect that the right path will be laid out in front of us, because that’s what we’ve known moving through the world to be like. And we don’t know how to direct ourselves, because no one showed us. And we’re sincerely bothered by everything and everyone that doesn’t match what we know we need, instead of turning to ourselves to find the answers, because we don’t even realize that we have them.

Thanks to these expectations we place on others, and on our world, and even on ourselves, our judgements and the ways we hold ourselves back are born from our comfort zone, when they should be based on whether or not something (or someone) is healthy and fulfilling for us as a whole.

So, the question is… day to day, how do we find the balance?

We start by noticing our emotions, and instead of complaining or shutting something out, pausing to ask ourselves,
“What is missing from this, that makes it bother me?”

If you’re sitting at home on the weekend and feel unbearably bored, what’s missing? Is it adventure? Is it depth? Is it wanting to be a part of something? Is it creative expression? Is it love? Is it wanting to feel accomplished in the world, like you’ve done something important?

If you’re annoyed, or just kind of dismissing a person or an idea, why do you feel that way? Do they remind you of someone who hurt you before? Is it something that feels unfamiliar and maybe makes you uncomfortable to imagine yourself being a part of?

In a conversation, it might be that you feel bothered by someone being rude. Respect is missing. How can you calmly address it? Tell them gently what you noticed. If they show no interest in cocreating a peaceful interaction, it’s okay to set a boundary and walk away.

On the opposite side, in a relationship, whether work or personal, if someone is placing too many expectations on you, and you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to let them know, and see how you can work together to create solutions, or spread out the work in a healthier way for everyone.

And in your life in general, if something you’re doing doesn’t feel fulfilling, or doesn’t feel like enough, feel it out. Take it step by step and really look at what’s important to you, and go from there. What do you care about, and why? How do you want to make a difference? What are your skills, and what are the new skills that your purpose would require?

If you’re still figuring out your path, think about what you’d want to see the world look like 20 years from now. Think about what problems in the world really hurt to think about. Think about what kinds of activities light your heart up. And think about how they could all fit together into one life.

In my coaching program, Goddess to Goddess Guidance, I take you deeply into the questions that reveal your true essence to yourself, to help you figure out what it really is that’s right for you, on your own terms, in your own way, and work week by week to make it happen, together, as you grow.

Discovering your purpose is a beautiful unfolding that breathes life into you in ways you never knew it could. And I say that from experience. The more that I’ve surrendered to not only the things that bring me the greatest joy and fulfillment, but also the challenges that appear in my path along the way, I’ve become stronger, wiser, and more free and satisfied than ever before, even though I feel like I have so far to grow. This is the journey I want for you, dear goddess, because you are a light uniquely all your own. You will find your way, and I’m always here to walk beside you, Goddess to Goddess.

All my love,

Aquarian Goddess Jen